Friday, July 30, 2010
Best day ever!
First is a biography like thing on Igor Kenk. Poetic and sad, it weaves a tale of communism, eco-awarness and hoarding together seamlessly coupled with beautifully different artwork.
For those who don't know Igor Kenk was the most hated man in Toronto a while ago. He was charged with stealing 2,865 bikes that he kept at various warehouses around the city. He owned a well known bike repair store and was thought of as an oddball but a nice guy. It makes for a very interesting read
I also got the second book, first novel by Shaunessy Bishop-Stall called Ghosted I am very excited to start this new book. His first book was Down To This. I'm sad to say I could only read it once but it is because I cried. It isn't very often a book can move me to visible emotions, and for one to move me so on several occasions only speaks to it vivid and exquisiteness . I cannot do it justice so I can only urge to read it for yourself.
The third book I got is a tome. Its a very comprehensive look at pin-up girls through the ages and the artists that drew them. I love it. I haven't been able to read it all, but its more of a reference book than anything else.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
C u @ the lul.
Here is why.
When people type "c" instead of "see", "u" instead of "you" and "kk" instead of "ok" it makes me crazy.
Why do you bother typing "kk"? Can't you just use the "o" button in place of the first "k"? It's right there, above the "k"!
The "kk" is the least of worries, when there are people running around in crocs saying "lol" in verbal conversations. Why say "lol"? Can't you just laugh out loud?
"lul" bothers me too. Where did this start? What does it mean? Laugh underwhelmingly loud?
Laugh unfathomably loud?
** UPDATE!**
I have recently found out that LUL means Laughing Uncontrolablly Loudly.... I am still not amused.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Diary of a cleaning lady.
I do however have a few households.
My first house is for an older lady. I will call her Greta.Shes a nice enough lady, smallish well kept house. So its always easy to clean, she needs me around because shes an old woman who cant bend and scrub. However, he old age has made her slightly senile and schizophrenic. I am always finding little piles of dirt in corners of under things. She places them there to make sure that I am cleaning thoroughly. How do I know she places them there? Before she pays me she goes around looks for it while I eat cookies in her kitchen.
Sonjia is my second house. Shes a chatty woman who just doesn't want to be bothered so she pays me. She has a couple habits. First is following me around and rambling on about things and people I don't know. The second is leaving her sex toys lying around. Yeah. I find "BOB" (Battery operated buddy) all the time. Its not actually battery operated, its a realistic latex penis that she just leaves around. It was shocking at first. I fumbled a bit not knowing where to put him or what to do with him but now its part of my routine to put him away.
My last regular house is for a girl named Jessica. Shes almost never home, and her house looks like all she does is party. I find beer bottles in places that I wonder how the got there. In plants 4 feet in the air, in a crook of a tree, balanced on a ceiling fan. At least she doesn't leave sex toys around.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Cross cake decorator off my list of plausible career choices..
The Chiefs on the food network and TLC lie. They make everything look so easy. They convince you that you, a normal average Jo can bake masterpieces! They place thoughts in your head. Thoughts like " Hey! He looks normal! I look normal! I can make toast, thus I can totally do that!" Only to have you realize halfway through your house burning down that no you cannot dazzle everyone with a masterpiece constructed out of sugar and cake.
Sometime last night I had the brilliant thought that I could not only make a cake but I could also decorate it with fondant!
I made drawings!
I looked it up on the Internet!
I made lists!
I remembered I couldn't bake a cake to save my life!
So, I reevaluated. I decided that what I really wanted to do was use fondant, so I decided to make cake out of the box.
I made more lists!
I made new drawings!
I made phone calls looking for ingredients!
I watched Invader Zim!
The next day I went to the grocery pharmacy to buy glycerin. A quick note to anyone buying glycerin, it comes in a bottle and looks like poison! I was so nervous that I was going to be accused by someone of trying to poison my boyfriend. I also bought 3 friggin pounds (!!) of icing sugar.
Everything went okie dokie, until I overfilled the cake pans and they spilled over onto the heating element and caught on fire! Smoke billowed out of the oven while I ran around like a chicken without a head. Eventually everything got under control and started again.
Let me make this clear, FONDANT IS NOT EASY! Took me 5 hours!
Here, for your viewing pleasure is my cake :)
Friday, July 2, 2010
kissing dinosaurs isn't as bad as kissing boys.
Until this past week. A little while ago I kicked a wall, broke my toe. Its finally getting all better, but then I bumped a table and walked up a really big hill and my foot denounced shoes.
So I decided that I would wear the uggs, just down the drive way. That was 3 days ago and I had yet to take them off. They are so comfortable! However, I will never forgive people who wear Crocs, they have a purpose, and that purpose is NOT walking down Younge street.
*~*
Every so often my father has these little comments. Usually they are stupid and insulting, he's happiest when they are both, but his favorite topic when speaking to me is the merits of being a lesbian. His latest quip is that when a girl kisses a boy for the first time she loses all her intelligence. It is only when she refrains from kissing boys for a period of 6 months does her intelligence come back. The loop hole of course is to kiss girls.
I mention this only for this picture. I went to Royal Alberta Museum and one of the few pictures I took, was in my favorite section