I need drugs. I am abnormal. Normal people do not have the conversations I have.
example!
BOYFRIEND: I share my birth month with a lot of my friends.
ME: I dont.
BOYFRIEND: You share your birth month with Jesus.
ME: Jesus can suck it.
PAUSE
ME: Actually I bet Jesus gives great blowjobs.... in fact I bet they would be miraculous!
PAUSE
BOYFRIEND: I bet he's better at giving hand jobs.... He wouldnt even have to close his hand!
Thats right folks. My boyfriend made a sex joke about stigmatas! We are both going to hell, unless God has a sense of humour....
So after I pried myself off the ground ( I fell off the bed laughing so hard) I HAD to tell my father.
ME: *repeats joke*
FATHER: *laughs very loudly for minutes* Well Stigmata fetishes are the next big thing!
My goodness I REALLY hope that God has a sense of humour but if he doesnt at least I will have good company for all of eternity right?
I DEMAND that you write more!!!!
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