So I was bloghopping and I came across this thing called a thirty day letter challenge. It is where for thirty days you write a letter to someone.... Day number 20 caught my attention "Write a letter to the person who broke your heart the most" I don't plan on doing the whole challenge, but I thought I might try this one.


Dear Me:

You open up too much. You let people who aren't trust worthy in too far, too often. When will you learn?

The people that were supposed to love you didn't, but you believed they had changed every time they came to you crying bringing false promises and boxes of empty hope. You knew all this at the time yet you let them back in anyway. Cared for them and let them cry on your shoulder and when the time came for them to be angry always taking the timeto make yourself the tagret of their anger to save others the pain. Why must you always think you need to carry the burden yourself? Why must you pretend you are infallible when in fact you are as easily penetrated as jell-o?

You have broken my heart the most by filling my soul with hope that people change and can live up to your lofty expectations, but I forgive you. I have to. Those expectations you place on others most heavily are placed on you as well.

Love you always,

Lima Bean.

things like this always happen to me...

It's not that I don't like to be told that someone finds me attracted, its just that I always get the creepers!

For instance, I was at the bus stop the other day, writing and listening to music. When this guy came up to me and said "What are you doing? Drawing?" He asks this while he is looking at my notebook that is COVERED in writing. Instead of being snotty I quickly answer "Writing."
The next 5 minutes consists of him yabbering on and me giving quick answers. I think he thought I was an idiot and just not picking up on his really *subtle* pick up lines. So he took a leap, a brave stupid leap. He cleared his throat and proudly said " You should write a story about a guy who picks up chicks, eh? eh?"

... really. He said it.

I hate being mean, it must take a lot of courage to go up to a stranger and just start a conversation. So I can't just be the girl who says "hey dude fuck off" even though it would make my life easier. So instead I say I'm going to stick with writing about zombies. He persists and manages to drag me into a long rant about how I would never write anything as bad as Twilight and how dare he even suggest it. Then a shorter rant about how Joss Whedon is a god.
The whole time I was sounding like a complete fan girl my mouth was going while my mind was screaming to shut the hell up! I wish I had listened to it sooner, he took my admiration for Joss and turned it around to be admiration for him! So he started talking about him, it turned out to be a good thing. I slipped into the conversation that I neither lived in his area nor was single. It worked.... for about 2 seconds. He started touching me! Grabbing my sweater and petting me! I moved away, he moved closer, finally he thought of something to say. "Aren't you *hot* in this sweater" "It's not even a normal sweater its all... *tight*" (insert creepy breathing) Then the bus got there and I burst on and sat next to a girl who glared at me for sitting there since the bus was practically empty. That is until I blurted out "I'mreallysorrytositherethereisjustacreepyguywhosehittingonmeandtouchingmeandIdon'twanthimtositbesideme"
Then she laughed and I sat for the rest of the ride in fear of the man who sat at least 8 rows back....

My 11 year old brother laughed at me when I mentioned it. Even he had the brains to ask why I didn't just hit him. I couldn't really say why. I think I just feel bad for the pathetic guy at the bus stop... I mean if that's your place to pick up chicks, you must be pretty desperate right?