Dear R. Pats, please get a better knickname. signed Me.

OH MY GOODNESS THE INTERNET EXPLODED! DID YOU HEAR?
3 AM TELEVISION HAS ONCE AGAIN PROVEN TO BE EYE OPENING AND VERY INFORMATIVE.
LET ME EXPLAIN.

LOOKING FOR MIND NUMBING SLEEP INDUCING PROGRAMMING I TURNED ON THE ONE CHANNEL ALWAYS GOOD FOR GOOD WHITE NOISE, MUCH MUSIC ( NOT SAY ALL THEIR PROGRAMMING IS BAD, JUST MOST)
AND LO-AND BEHOLD A "TWILIGHT" DOCUMENT RY. PERFECT!
(LET ME CLARIFY SOMETHING. MY HATRED FOR TWILIGHT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ACTORS. THOUGH ROBERT MAY BENEFIT FROM A SHOWER. AND WHATS-HER-NAME NEEDS TO FIRE HER STYLIST. SERIOUSLY EVERY AWARD SHOW SHE LOOKS LIKE A METH HEAD.)

ANYWAY. SO, TWILIGHT DOC. ONE OF THE V.J'S (DEVIN SOMETHING OR OTHER) SAID
"THE INTERNET EXPLODED"
"WHAT?!"
GOSH, I WISH I HAD A PVR.



REWIND, PLAY, LAUGH X1000

monkey chatter

99.99% of our genetic make up is identical to chimpanzees. Not wrongfully we assume that means that as intelligence goes chimpanzees must be closest to us. We are taught the they use tools, have a political oligarchy and even trade sex for food. (maybe you weren't taught that in school, I myself learned it off manswers) But last year scientists made a remarkable discovery. Monkeys are adapting closer to our ways than even chimps.

We all know monkeys use tools too, but did you know they are multilingual and use grammar?A skill chimps ( and it would seem even some humans) haven't learned yet.

Deep in the jungle, different calls bombard human ears, but each animal can pick out their own species call. But yet there are a group of monkeys that can hear and understand the calls of other species of monkeys. Making these monkeys multilingual.
The live in a U.N setting, with monkeys from 8 different species living together, looking out for each other and even grooming one another. Together these species have about 15 distinct calls, making each monkey able to understand 120 different sounds.
120 different sounds, or 8 languages, I don't know many humans that speak 8 languages. These sounds aren't simple quick calls, they are sentences, with grammar and modifiers.

This language development doesn't stop at just understanding other species.
White faced Capuchin monkeys have learned to lie. A process that sounds simple enough, but requires abstract thinking of things that are not there, predicting how other will react and thinking about what others are thinking.
Why lie?
Monkeys have strict political structure with strong leaders. In this society the leaders can take lesser males food. But what the lesser monkey has demonstrated is hiding good food, making the sound for "snake" and while the other monkeys are hiding in the trees looking for the snake, they have snuck down and eaten their treasure.

And I thought monkeys just thought about places to throw their poo.

A letter to a bad lover.

You have spent endless hours watching porn on the computer, yet seem to have learned nothing.
I dont ask for odd postions, prop masters with ketchup squeeze bottles full of lube or cameras. I ask for simple things like forplay that includes more than " oh baby, you look hot."
or playing with my breasts as if you are executing the Konami code.
You're skills at cunninglus are only slightly out shadowed by your skills at coitus. Which is to say your inability to read even the most obvious signals, and your complete confusion at the female anatomy is only slightly worse than the jerky akward movements on top of my, you suspect is sex, though it is closer to a seal moving on dry land.
If I ever have a son I will teach him this, "Study your porn." You spend hours on the computer, do something constructive that will help you in the future. *

Sincerly,
You're sexually frustrated girlfriend

*That is if 4 Chan doesnt pervert everything by the time I am a parent...

Quick Rant.
Unlike many a geek in this world I have not enriched the world in any way.
Nor am I on my way to enriching it. In fact many these past months have been filled with unemployment. With scattered bits of trying. But finally dear readers, I got a job! It was hardly anything ground breaking, but it was empoyment! I was a lowly waitress in a small greaasy spoon, oh, but it was what I was made to do! Or so I thought. The manager, decided that for what ever reason I did not fit into the dynamic of the resteraunt. And there is nothing bad about it, well there is, but I harbour no ill will for that, it happens What I do find my self angry about is that he didnt bother to tell me. No, I called and he said "Er, I'll call you back."three days, no phone call so I called. To get "you're not on the scheduale" *click* leaving me to stare at
the phone dumbfounded.alright, so I have once again found myself in the unemployment statisics. On top of this unsettling factor for a great many months I have been watching my life slowly flow away. I am not an old biddy nor am I married or with children. Yet, I have no life. Normally geeks have no life, or so is the stereo type. Not so, their life may invove a screen but it is still there. I dont even have that. My friends have exciting lives, and a few even have exciting blogs.They are striving towards a better world. I a left behin in the dust.
The have been quite helpful, they have allowed me to talk aboout the most exciting things in my life (scrapboking, video games.) with feign intrest. And even my other half has produced this life, he has plans, and things to do. have covered myself in a mountain of pictures and scrap paper. I have left an exciting place where sitting in the park wonderful things happened to here. Where is here? Here is fort mcmurray. Here is an oil town, where nothing happens and it exists in a small detached bubble